Day 9

Cody's birthday was Oct 18th but we had a little celebration today. Today is the first day he's been here since then and Pauline bought giant doughnuts for everyone as Cody had expressed interest in them when they went to the doughnut store some time back. I confess that I ate one. I'm stuffed. Probably shouldn't have ate it.

Does this mean I can't have popcorn at the movie later this afternoon?

Day 8 (519)

Neat-o! I lost 16 lbs! Not a bad way to start a diet! Though I know it's not healthy to lose weight too fast, it's nice to know I'm at least on the right track.

I had my weekly treat tonight. Emmy and I went to Jack in the Box and had their Sampler Trio. It's a side option that includes three jalapenio poppers, three mozerella cheese sticks and seven little spicy chicken bites. It was very tasty! Maybe I'll have it again next Friday!

Actually I won't be getting a Friday treat next week as I plan on stuffing myself for Thanksgiving.

Day 6

Some times it becomes excruciatingly difficult not to stray. Several times today I've wanted to go out for a ... well ... anything not on The Program. I've just now finished my NutriSystem dinner course and I really want to grab another one for round two.

Round Two not allowed.

No extra helpings.

Bummer.

At least I have this outlet. I think I'll try out a bit of textual Scream Therapy...

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!"

There! I feel much better now.

I think I'll have my official NutriSystem dessert now and munch my salad when I get home. (I appear to have run out of handy dandy canned veggies for the moment.)

I told one of my co-workers today that I'm looking forward to my weigh-in this Friday. He said I shouldn't expect to see a big difference. I don't. I'll only be disappointed if I've actually gained weight. This would SOOOO not be worth it were that to be the case.

Cody is coming over this Saturday. Every time he goes with Pauline to the doughnut store in Kingsgate he always drools over the super big doughnuts they have. Pauline is going to get him one for his birthday and get one for everyone else too for the occasion. I've decided that, rather than my ice cream Friday treat this week, I'm going to have a doughnut on Saturday. :-)

Day 5

Still going steady. Yesterday Emmy and her cousin Grace bought some Nacho flavored Doritos. I grabbed the bag and found that one serving, comprised of approx. 11 chips, is about 160 calories. I took that to mean that I could skip one of my NutriSystem snacks (usually a biscotti, pretzels or whatever) and munch 11 Doritos. And this I did. They were yummy! ... but I didn't get to eat my biscotti. A fair enough trade I suppose. I just won't let myself make it a habit.

At least the chips were only a temporary temptation as Emmy accidentally dumped about 2/3 of the bag on the van floor. Let's hear it for car wash vacuums!

Today is going well. While I keep feeling the pull of Zeek's Pizza and (God forgive me) McDonald's, I've not spent a dime at any fast food place since last week. Actually, that's a lie. I did drive through KFC for Jennie & Emmylou last Friday, but none of it was for me. When I say none of it was for me, I meant that it was purchased for others, but I still stole one jojo potato wedge. Not a diet Program killer. (I almost used the "D" word!)

While it's only Day 5 of The Program, I've found these tiny portions of food to be a bit more satisfying day by day. Each time I eat one of the small meal packets I actually feel full. (No comments from Jennie using the word "fist" are required here.) :-)

I've been eating more fruits & veggies too. I have a salad or two every day, though with a bit more dressing than recommended. Hey, at least I'm using fat free! I also bought several cans of corn & green beans to nuke at work as my lunch veggie when fresh ones aren't at hand. I've also been working my way through a bunch of bananas I bought Saturday morning and a few cans of pear halves and fruit cocktail. Don't panic here! Most of them are canned with fruit juices, not sugar water (AKA "Light Syrup").

I'm sure I'm on the right path. I just need to stick with it until, whenever I think of food, I'm no longer craving burgers or pizza as #1 choices. And if these little portions keep me going as well as they have been, then eventually I'll be in the habit of taking smaller portions, next Thursday not withstanding.

I'm pigging out for Thanksgiving. Nobody is going to tell me, "only one small slice of pumpkin pie!" without getting glared at. I hope I get ill when I try to revert to my old large-portion platefull of food. I'm sure it'll teach me a lesson. ;-)

Day 2

Last night before sacking out I picked out my NutriSystem meals for Saturday and Sunday. I figured it would be easier to do so then as I never allow myself any spare time in the morning to do more than shower, dress and run.

Saturday morning. I dropped off Emmylou at her work and headded to mine. The compulsion to hit a drive thru was staggering, but I ignored it. Instead I went to Safeway and bought some canned fruits and veggies to store in my desk at work. Keeping fresh veggies at work isn't generally practical as anything left in the fridge will get periodically swept into the trash bin.

Breakfast this morning was a canned tropical fruit mix in fruit juice and a NutriSystem breakfast bar. I read the ingredients list on the canned fruit and it was just that: fruit and fruit juice, no syrup or added sugars.

I think day 2 is off to a good start!

Day 1 (535)

Well, this is it! Today is the first day of my diet. Diet... not a pretty word as it always seems to have an aire of failure about it. I don't know the statistics on diet success rates but I seem to recall that they're virtually non-existant.

Perhaps I'll call what I'm doing The Program.

program n. 1a) A listing of the order of events and other pertinent information for a public presentation. 1b) The presentation itself: a program of piano pieces. 2) An ordered list of events to take place or procedures to be followed; a schedule.

Yeah, that's not too bad. "The Program". It gives a name to my diet without any hint that it may fail. A program holds no inferrences as to whether or not it has a specific goal let alone a chance of success of failure. Kinda leaves it open. As I intend to be highly optimistic about The Program (though periodic bouts of timidity are expected) I'm just going to plow through and have fun.

To begin with, I'm going to mention a few things about my starting point, and a couple details about what brought me to this day.

First off, I'm overweight. I've never liked the term "obese", but I'm sure there's a dictionary out there somewhere that has my picture directly adjacent to the definition. My last doctor visit about a month ago weighed me in at 544 lbs. I went back today on other business and weighed myself and got 535 lbs (I used a different scale this second time). I don't know if I've actually lost weight or if the scales are just not being properly calibrated and maintained. I'm going to make it a point to go in and weigh myself weekly and use the same scale each time for consistency. I care little for a 10 pound difference, but I don't want that difference to be the cause of equipment variability.

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.
"What's it for?" asked the first boy.
"I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it makes you mad."

Secondly, my doctor said that any medical weight loss procedures at Group Health have certain requirements that must be met before they'll even consider a patient. The one I'm working on now is "Enrollment in three months of a formal weight loss program". Although if The Program works out I'll pass on the surgical option.

This brings me to NutriSystem. I know that I'm too lazy to pick through every ingredient in every scrap of food to try to fit a diet program, or to try to figure out what foods fill which gaps in a daily nutritional requirements list without exceeding those requirements. NutriSystem includes most of the food with the plan, excluding veggies, fruits and breads -- things you usually can't collect a month's worth at a time.

My first box arrived yesterday. It was packed with dozens of small packages labelled "Breakfast", "Lunch", "Dinner" and "Snacktime". My first thought was, "Ok, three of these for lunch, two of these for dinner..." but I knew these little containers were to comprise the majority of my caloric intake for the next month, one per meal. Getting a late start today I ate the contents of one labelled "breakfast", containing breakfast cereal. Running late for an appointment two hours later (I said I got a late start), I grabbed a biscotti in a package labelled "snacktime" for the road. Getting back home I had a macaroni with beef package labelled "lunch". I've since completed dinner and desert.

The one big step off the path was the frappuccino Jennie bought me around 5:30pm. Emmy and I have an ongoing agreement to only have one ice cream treat a week. I'm not giving up mine just because I'm on The Program. With all the other cutbacks I'm doing, a periodic treat shouldn't go amiss. I'm just going to have to make sure that most of my Friday treats aren't as big as the frappuccino.

My stomache growled a few times today but no more than it does during some busy workdays wherein I get my lunch in the late afternoon. I know, I know. Not healthy to not eat for so long, but I don't make it a habit. It's bedtime now and I'm feeling satisfied. We'll see how I faire after an exhaustingly busy workday. I may need a few supplimental calories.

I'm planning on weighing in at the Group Health scale every week to track my weight loss. We have a scale at home but it's max limit is 440 lbs. Have you ever tried shopping for a bathroom scale that will weigh someone my size? They just don't exist. By the time you find one that will do so you're looking at price tags in the "oh my god you've got to be kidding" price range. Either that or you're looking at the kind farmers use when trying to value their livestock for sale... not something you would want getting out. I'll just keep hitting Group Health until I can use the one at home.

I don't have a photo to add to this entry in my journal but I'll get one soon. I'm going to try to make it a point to add a new photo on a monthly basis, just so I can look back in a year or two and see, visually rather than statistically, the progress I've made.

Time to sign off. More to come...